Anderson Times

              It's Easter... And That Means Baskets!!

  As you can probably tell by this heading, it's Easter! While the Easter party has not yet come, lots of excitement has come to the Anderson house already. In the morning the children came downstairs to a table of goodies! Every person got a baker and a book. In each basket was tons of candy. They got two eggs filled with jelly beans each. Catherine got baseball cards; the boys got Skylanders cards. On the table was Wreck-It-Ralph for Disney Infinity. There were also three movies: Frozen; Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief; and The Croods. 

                 Just Kidding! :)

  The joke column today will contain three jokes.

  1. Q: Why shouldn't you tell eggs jokes?

      A: They might crack up!

  

  2.  Q: Why don't they let strawberries drive?

       A: They're always getting into jams!

  

  3.   Nurse: There's a ghost outside. He says he has an appointment.
        Docter: Tell him I can't see him right now.

  That's a Knee Slapper!

            

  

Anderson Times

             Announcement

 Yesterday, a malfunction occurred. As I was about to write the just kidding post, the blog published! The fairy-tale discovery was not a joke.Those tales are the truth. So now that you understand, I would like to post the article from yesterday.

         Just Kidding!:)

 Our newspaper has decided to have a joke section. Unfortunately, we can't add comic strips. You will most likely need someone to tell these to. This article will only have three jokes.

                          A=Assistant Y=You

1. A- What time is it?

   Y- One of

   A- One of what?

   Y- One of those times you wish you had a watch.

2. Y-Knock-Knock

   A- Who's there?

   Y- Nobody

   A- Nobody who?

   Y- 

3. Y- Why did the turkey cross the road?

   A- It was the chicken's day off

       Santa Claus is comin' to town...

 After reading this heading, you may be thinking that Christmas is more than 6 months away. Well, we all knew that. What else do we know? Easter is tomorrow! 

 Everybody knows songs like Jingle Bells, Deck the Halls, Jolly Old St. Nicholas, Joy to the World e.t.c. Now here's a task for you. Name one Easter carol. I didn't think so. This article is just about that. These were made up by Catherine. She has been kind enough to share them with us.

  1. This is sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. 

    Rudalph the purple nosed horse; had a very shiny  nose;and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows; all the other horseys used to laugh and call him names; they never let poor Rudalph join in any horsey games; Then one foggy Easter eve; The Easter Bunny came to say; Rudalph with your butt so big; won't you sit on the chicken and make her lay some eggs; then how  the horseys loved him; they laughed and shouted out with glee; Rudalph you'll go down in history! 

 2. This is sung to the tune of Jingle Bells.

            Jingle eggs;  Jingle Eggs; Oh no they just broke!; What we gonna do?; hey; Cleaning up the eggs; with the Easter Bunny; getting really mad; oh well; i guess its okay;

 Thank you so much, and have a happy Easter!

    

Anderson Times

                      Amazing Fairy Tale Discovery!

   Unfortunately, this newspaper has been out of news for quite some time. Even our best reporter couldn't seem to find anything. Then, quite recently,we found our breaking news. 

   Every child was told fairy tales growing up. They have been told legends of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast,Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, e.t.c. They believe it, until they just find it cute. So at this point, you will be thinking how sweet this is. Where is the news?

  

  One day, Catherine was looking for a book to read. ( If you have read this newspaper before, you'll know that she is an avid reader.)

As she scanned the shelves, she found an old looking red velvet journal. She read the neat, cursive handwriting. It had a table of contents. It read a little like this.

                   Table of Contents

 Part One: Sleeping Beauty..................p.1

    Chapter One: Princess...................p.2

    Chapter Two: Prince.....................p.16

 Part Two: Beauty and The Beast.............p.30

    Chapter One:Beauty......................p.31

    Chapter Two: Beast......................p.43

 Part Three: Cinderella.....................p.53

    Chapter One: Cinderella.................p.54

    Chapter Two: Prince Charming............p.68

 Part Four: The Little Mermaid:.............p.77

    Chapter One: Ariel......................p.78

    Chapter Two:Prince Eric.................p.90

 Catherine was quite amazed at what she saw. She had always loved The Little Mermaid, so she skipped to part four. The whole thing was handwritten. She learned that before the movie, Eric and Ariel had met. While only briefly, they fell in love and promised to meet again. Years passed and Eric had forgotten about her. The day that the boat was caught in a storm, he had seen her red hair, and he remembered that day.

 Sleeping Beauty had actually only fallen asleep for one year. She had purposefully pricked her finger because she was tired of her parents being so overprotective and controlling. The prince had adored her all his life. Mary (This was her true name. Rose was her middle name.) absolutely hated Sauron.( The prince.)

 Beauty hated her father all along. When she heard of a beast in a castle, she hightailed it out of there. The so called "beast" just turned out to be a man. He lacked a certain trait called hygiene, however. After ten years, Beauty improved him. Oliver (the "beast",)

was now very handsome and had learned to control his temper; as a result, Beauty married him.

 Cinderella was very poor as she grew up in England. She came to America as an indentured servant. She worked for very kind people. She enjoyed. As princess, she became part of an arranged marriage. she loved Prince Charming, But as Cinderella was exceedingly ugly,Charming hated her. ( Cindy was very nice. Charming judged her by looks. Eventually he learned to love her)

 Catherine was shocked. She knew we were looking for a story. She gave us the red velvet diary. We are so happy to know the truth about our princesses. In fact, merpeople are immortal.The journal says Arial and Eric became Mermaid and Merman and still live in the Dead Sea.

     Just Kidding!:)